[ yuri's already there on the ice, doing flips and shit in his skating outfit. looks like he might be warming up. fuck the volcano. if karkat wants an entire routine then yuri has some tracks he can play on his phone. if not then he doesn't mind just showing off some moves, too.
when karkat arrives, yuri skates over to him, wherever he is. ]
So. What did you want me to do?
[ ...this is actually the first time they've met in person isn't it ]
and also, karkat knows nothing about ice skating, as in the professional sport. he has no idea what those moves and stuff are called, so he doesn't know what to actually ask for. ]
[ karkat leans against the... ice rink wall?? that i am assuming it has??? idk the actual layout of it, whatever, let's say it's there. ]
I am ready to be thoroughly impressed and if you do not provide a performance of high quality then I won't let you hear the end of it. Just so you know.
[ good thing yuri can't hear it over the music. it goes by pretty quickly, and yuri finishes, panting as he holds his ending pose. he didn't really go all-out, but it's still a physically exhausting program.
give him a moment before he skates up to where karkat's leaning. ]
[ the moment yuri gets angry, karkat immediately narrows his eyes. if there is one thing he is used to dealing with, it's people who are mad at him for whatever reason.
he's still mostly bullshitting though, as he still knows nothing of ice skating. ]
I don't know. I was expecting something more... mindblowing, after all of the hype you gave yourself.
[ karkat would not be taking shots if yuri hadn't suddenly gotten so mad without warning so rip ]</small<
You say that as if I have any idea what the Grand Prix Finals are. Which I don't, considering I'm not from your fucking planet and have already established I don't know how to goddamn ice skate.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ASKED FOR MY OPINION! I WASN'T EVEN TALKING SHIT, YOUR HEAD IS JUST SO FAR UP YOUR ASSHOLE THAT THERE'S PROBABLY CRAP SHOVED IN YOUR SOUND CHAMBERS.
[ pele is probably slowing backing out of the room ]
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when karkat arrives, yuri skates over to him, wherever he is. ]
So. What did you want me to do?
[ ...this is actually the first time they've met in person isn't it ]
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and also, karkat knows nothing about ice skating, as in the professional sport. he has no idea what those moves and stuff are called, so he doesn't know what to actually ask for. ]
Surprise me.
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Is there anything I can use to plug this in to some speakers?
[ he holds up his phone. it's not the same without music! ]
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[ he types something in his communicator, and in a few minutes pele the robocrab comes wobbling over. karkat points at her. ]
She works as speakers. Just plug it in.
[ he loves his crab child who now only has one parent. rip rin. ]
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Whoa... Did Dirk make that?
[ just plugging in his phone now, give him a minute to find the song! ]
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Yeah. I originally designed her to be a contender for a possible URSULA body, but she chose an inferior design because she hates me.
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[ testing out the music...wow, okay, this thing's pretty good. alright. loud and clear. ]
Anyway, you ready? I've been practicing this for months before I got here.
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I am ready to be thoroughly impressed and if you do not provide a performance of high quality then I won't let you hear the end of it. Just so you know.
[ ??? as if he knows how to judge this shit. ]
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[ he's smirking though, fully confident that karkat indeed does not know how to skate, and probably has never seen anything like this before.
so.
yuri gets on the ice, gets into his starting position and hits play on his phone.
prepare yoself, karkat, because this is what you're getting. ]
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IS A LOT OF SPINS??
holy shit. at least he didn't say holy shit out loud. ]
Holy shit.
[ wait. fuck. he did. ]
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give him a moment before he skates up to where karkat's leaning. ]
...Well?
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[ it's obvious he is talking out of his ass here but at least he didn't say it sucked. ]
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[ ooooooooh boy.
yuri literally kicks his leg so it's up on the wall. he's on the other side of it, but karkat can still probably feel the wall shake?
he's totally glowering now and sort of grimacing, but it's clear he's kind of offended and upset about this. ]
What was so adequate about it, then?
[ LISTEN....HE'S VERY CRITICAL OF HIMSELF.... ]
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he's still mostly bullshitting though, as he still knows nothing of ice skating. ]
I don't know. I was expecting something more... mindblowing, after all of the hype you gave yourself.
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[ yuri is hard on himself, sure. but he doesn't like it when other people other than his coaches take shots at his pride. ]
You wanna tell me what you were expecting, then? Some aerodynamic shit?
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[ oh my god karkat?? get with the program?? gosh!!!! ]
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[ although technically yuri would be the best on this planet for sure. ]
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[ SMH KARKAT ]
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[ karkat is honest to god the last person who should be saying that to anyone ]
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[ THESE TWO ARE THE WORST ]
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[ pele is probably slowing backing out of the room ]
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[ goodbye pele. this is how we all die: explosion in the ice rink ]
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[ yeah she's gone now.
probably with yuri's ipod in tow. ]
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[ his phone actually
rip ]
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